5 Tips About Having A Conversation With Your Older Parents

January 20th, 2016 No Comments

Starting a Conversation with Your Loved Ones About Aging

If you observed your older parents at gatherings during the holidays, you may have noticed they’re starting to need a little more help than they used to. After ringing in the New Year, maybe you’re thinking it’s time to have a talk with your aging loved ones about a long-term care plan as they age. You certainly don’t want to spend this year continually worrying about their safety and well-being as they go through each day on their own.

For years, our parents were there for us and gave their support during life’s most challenging moments. Now it’s our time to be there for them during their most challenging moments. Whether you’ve noticed your loved ones needing help with day-to-day care (such as dressing, grooming, bathing), if they’re not preparing food or eating enough, if they’re forgetting to take their medications, or if their housekeeping is falling behind, this conversation will spark mixed emotions. Just keep in mind that it’s better to start the conversation now, before it’s too late.

Big life changes may be in store for your loved ones, so plan to have more than one conversation before a crisis situation happens (such as a sudden major fall or debilitating illness) which will impair their ability to function on their own. Below are five ways to help navigate through these conversations.

1. Timing is everything. Plan to talk to your loved ones when there are no distractions or other obligations. For example, the middle of family dinner is probably not the right occasion for this discussion. A good time could be during a morning visit with your parents when they don’t have many activities planned for the day.
2. Share your observations, concerns and feelings. Maybe you’ve noticed that Dad is having trouble getting work done around the house, or Mom is no longer able to keep up with laundry and cooking. Addressing these topics with loved ones can be difficult, but it’s important they know that you care. If you’ve notice your loved one is having trouble, stay persistent, empathetic, and strong as you work with them to find the right solution.
3. Listen to their concerns and wishes. Make a list of your loved one’s concerns so that you’re able to validate them and help guide you both in finding the most appropriate solutions based on their preferences. Understanding the type of lifestyle they wish to maintain can help with planning and lead to positive outcomes.
4. Being an advocate. Emphasize that you’re there to take care of their needs and that they can depend on you. Ensure them that you want to maintain their way of life and need their help to make the best decisions.
5. End the conversation with a plan. Having a plan in place helps to make sure that there are set shared expectations around the next steps. In the event of an emergency your family will be prepared for the next steps.

If you are still uneasy about having a conversation with your parents and need the support and guidance of a professional, Visiting Angels can help. Visiting Angels’ services allow your loved ones to remain independent safely in their own homes. Our Angels are trained to provide a range of in-home, non-medical home care services—including meal preparation, light housekeeping, companionship, hygiene assistance, medication reminders, personal care assistance, and safety supervision throughout Mercer and Burlington counties in New Jersey. For more information or to schedule our services, call 609-833-8188.

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